


wild goose chase

by AlexSeanchai



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Untitled Goose Game Fusion, F/M, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Podfic Welcome, Puns & Word Play, Supervillain Goose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-30 11:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21427411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSeanchai/pseuds/AlexSeanchai
Summary: "Usually you're not supposed to kill the golden goose," Ladybug grumbled, glaring at today's akuma. "Or to want to."Chat Noir snorted. "Usually you can do something with the golden eggs other than break them for omelets.""HONK," said the oversized, distinctly metallic-hued goose.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 22
Kudos: 195
Collections: Untitled Goose Exchange 2: 2 Goose 2 Furious





	wild goose chase

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Clocketpatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocketpatch/gifts).

Chat Noir planted the butt of his staff and shot into the air: he would land on the next roof, shrink his baton, and come in from another angle—

—he faceplanted into the side of the building, only just keeping his staff in hand—

Ladybug's yo-yo caught him, and a moment later Chat was standing on the rooftop beside her, ruffled. "That might be a nasty goose egg," he grumbled, rubbing the sorest part of his skull, and sneezed.

"Oh? Let me see." She reached up to feel for herself—bliss, if he could only _enjoy_ it, without also having to keep an eye on the two-meter golden-feathered goose akuma that'd just tried to steal his staff. "Let me know if you get dizzy or anything."

"I'll be fine after your Cure, my lady." He smiled at her. "But feel free to go back to this part anytime."

Ladybug rolled her eyes, not lifting her exploring fingers from his scalp. "You mean the part where you might be concussed bad enough our goose is cooked?"

The goose akuma honked with enough force to set three car alarms and the inside of Chat Noir's skull ringing: he clapped his hands to his cat ears, which didn't help, and found Ladybug covering his human ears, which sort of did.

"I'm fine," he repeated, and could tell she didn't believe him.

Hawkmoth's mask outline flared up around the goose's eyes; the goose let out another thunderous "HONK!", launching themself into flight—

"—There! A bracelet maybe?" Something was glinting on their foot, anyway: the goose was looping back midair to fly back towards them and maybe Chat could catch the thing with his staff?

"I see it," Ladybug agreed, and threw them both sideways: the goose couldn't correct in time to bite them, but recovered height quickly, soaring towards the park. Chat extended his staff to catch them both instead and vault after the akuma.

"Do we even know what this Animan wannabe _wants_?" Chat asked, sneezed, and avoided crashing into a chimney only because Ladybug yo-yoed him to her side.

"No clue!"

The goose flew past the park, Chat Noir and Ladybug following, and looped around Adrien's house before deciding, with another Hawkmoth's-talking mask flare and another "_honk_!", to crash through Adrien's bedroom windows.

"—Oh, I hope Adrien's not home," muttered Ladybug, and signaled Chat to stop beside her. "Lucky Charm!"

Chat eyed the spotted copper whistle that fell into her hands. "Really pulling out all the bells and whistles, aren't we?"

Ladybug snickered. "I'm definitely ready to blow the whistle on this one."

He sneezed. "Agreed!"

A couple minutes later, Chat Noir stared down at the ex-akuma in his dining room as Ladybug tossed her Charm into the air. "It's a goose," Chat said, flat and disbelieving.

"Well, that's just not fair." Ladybug held out her fist for Chat Noir to bump. "I've been wondering if animals could get akumatized, since AIs and sentimonsters can, but I was expecting a dog or a cat or, like, something _smart_."

The goose honked and lunged for her ankles. Ladybug leaped into the air; Chat Noir tried to bludgeon the goose.

"_What_ is going on?" demanded Father from the atrium.

"Sorry, M. Agreste!" said Ladybug. "We'll be out of your hair in a minute!"

"Hawkmoth must be running out of ideas," Chat Noir observed. There'd be hell to pay if they broke anything _after_ Miraculous Cure, but— "I mean, it's a _goose_."

"I suppose you can't say boo to one," Father said, cold.

The goose rounded on him. Moments later, Father was running outside, half a stumble, with what would be a _spectacularly_ bruised shin later.

Chat managed to wait sixty whole seconds, until he and Ladybug were back in the park (the other direction from the way the goose was flying off), to crack up laughing. "I'm a horrible person," he told Ladybug as she anchored her yo-yo on Marinette's balcony railing.

"Silly goose," she said, smiling, and was gone.


End file.
